The Inescapable 

You have me all confused

There was a time when we held each other’s hands wherever we went. 

Though cliché, you always insisted and I was so sure this was going somewhere 

I’m not sure anymore. 

You tell me I’m your priority 

You have me saved as your emergency contact 

But don’t seem to answer my calls. 

If you have someone else in your life, go ahead. 

Just blurt it out to me so I can stop fantasizing our future together. 

You have left me walking on a tightrope 

I don’t even know anymore if you’ll be there when I fall. 

I need to stop feeding myself with excuses for your inescapable behavior. 

It’s hard to admit mom, but you were right all along. 

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Know that you deserve the best. 

Her marriage was an agreement of sorts

A barter of that which cannot be replaced with that which can. 

Her life for money it was. 

Shocking that such practices exists even today. 

Now that they have bought her, 

They treat her like they own her. 

Every girl dreams of a fairy tale wedding

She, 22 years old, fairly independent 

Didn’t even get to have a wedding.

What was her fault? 

Well, she belonged to a lower caste.

Felt like an outsider and rightly so. 

They even tried breaking her bond with her parents. 

She had enough of them commanding over her, 

Treating her like a slave. 

When it had become intolerant, 

She walked right out of their lives 

With smile on her face and courage in her heart. 

Time

They say time has an impact on everybody 

But I see how unaffected it has left you. 

Feels like I’m back to two years ago 

Where, with just your words you jabbed

But were intolerant to counter-blows. 

Where, you would twist facts to suit your theories 

Until everyone were on your side. 

Where, you were so callous to see the pain you had inflicted on others. 

Playing the victim works even today for you, I see.. 

When all it has done is stopped you from changing. 

Only when you realize the machine isn’t working 

Do you repair it. 

You, I remember were always hesitant to confront your shortcomings. 

If you think that there is nothing wrong

Then there is no saving you. 

Self- sacrificing mother. 

I can’t imagine what must be going on in her head to stay strong despite chronic despairs. Family unsupportive, faith destroyed, husband dead and on top of all that, she is drenched in debt. If it was me, I would have been filled up with rage but she seems to be okay. I wonder how? Not that I’m a sadist, but knowing what all has happened to her I don’t think it’s human to be okay. 

When I confronted her with empathy she said, “my life has been a convoy of bad events, I have been so used to all this that it doesn’t affect me anymore”. As stoic as her reply was, I could see a hint of pain in her eyes. 

Very bizarre, that her emotions had been drained out. The only thing that is keeping her alive is her daughter. Her life is her daughter. She works hard as a housemaid during the day and moonlights as a waiter in a restaurant, so her daughter can dream and be what she desires. 

Things a mother does for her child is ineffable. 

Beauty

I was one of those privileged teens,

That took pride in you.

The unflagging vitality that came as a result of you

Had consumed me

Made me insolent.

The ephemeral joy of youth

Had me dance to its trance.

Being loved was no task

With you around.

Sycophants add up

When in sight of opulence and you.

Now when I look back

I see a shallow self

Who had everything to do with you.

And finally that you have decided to vanish

Without warning

Everyone left too.

And as for me, I have nothing left to offer

Nothing left to do.

Road to Survival 

You promise daylight, 

But you bring along darkness as well. 

How am I to trust you? 

When you clearly are not willing to help. 

All I asked, was a day off, 

And all I get is the same old wrath,

You conniving brat! 

Why would you give me false hope? 

When, all that only leads me back to the rope. 

The same rope, I once used to end me.. 

I don’t get it, what is it that you want me to see? 

Are you tricking me into facing my fear? 

If so, now I’m clear.

Would you please just let go!

Courage requires wings

She is ready to fight the system, 

Without caring about the unforeseen repercussions. 

She thinks everything will change for better, 

If she just takes that no-entry lane. 

But the thing that bothers her most is,  

She’ll be hurting those whom she loves, along the way. 

It’s not what her heart permits of, 

But it needs to be done anyway. 

To muster that courage, she is in a lookout, 

For something more than encouragement, 

A sign, maybe, that whatever she is going to undertake, 

Is backed up by somebody out there. 

All this, isn’t to hurt anybody, 

But she is not going to think twice, 

When her happiness itself is at jeopardy.