I can tell for boys and girls alike that the time before marriage, the time the world announces to you that you are supposed to get married is the most tormenting part of growing up. It’s not just my community, I’ve seen it across all communities. Well, as for me my tormenting days began even before I completed college, not even 20 by then and it’s not a lie that I even considered marrying because the prospect seemed appealing. And the only prospect I was looking for at that time in my life was marrying abroad, getting as far away from my hometown as possible but obviously I said no after deliberate consideration. That was an opening to years of painful adulthood and from then on there was no going back, one after the other they showed up.
Saying no every time before even meeting the guy had only one interpretation according to me which was I was not ready for marriage but it gave my parents assumptions that I might have a boyfriend and would one day elope which made matters worse. I then realized what fear can accomplish by sidelining love. I’ve seen it first hand how mad, angry — fear could make you do and say things to your own child as if she were never your own and for what just so she says yes to marriage.
What we need to understand is that, as parents it’s also the most important decision they make for their child and hence the additional burden that comes along with it.
Believe me, you can’t stay mad at them forever. For whatever they did and said it was mostly based on the fears they’ve picked up along the way.
Forgive them because they didn’t know any better, more importantly they didn’t have anybody to guide them and you should know that there are a lot others who every now and then question the unmarried status of their child despite being averagely pretty, needless to say puts them on hook.
It’s only a matter of time until the dust settles and know that it will but until then stay true to your decision no matter the wrath because it’s only you who knows what’s best for you.
Stay strong but once all this is over have the heart to forgive and forget.